What Are You Talking About?

Janet writes: We apologize for the lapse in posts lately. We’ve been very busy and the resulting chaos has caused us to lag behind. One result of this hectic schedule is that Tim’s brain has been working in overdrive lately. He has so many ideas swirling around that they keep him up at night. When he is telling me about an idea or opinion he has, the thoughts come so fast that he often leaves out a portion, and it’s usually an important part. I end up getting about 75% of what he is talking about, but that other 25%, the part that contains information critical to the main idea, is missing and causes me to either totally miss his point or just become really confused.



It’s at this point that I will stop Tim and say “What are you talking about?” Tim will then stop and tell me, which usually clarifies his point and clears up my confusion. If I still don’t get it, I will tell him what I don’t understand and he will usually realize what fact it was that he left out. I then have 100% and can participate in the conversation without feeling like I’m driving in fog.


I think many misunderstandings between couples happen because a little piece of information is left out. Big fights can occur when all that really needs to be done is to stop and say “What are you talking about?” When cognitive problems are at the root of the misunderstanding, it’s all the more important to stop and clarify the conversation. Conflict, frustration, and hurt feelings can all be avoided by following this simple little step.